Why it is better to be a girl!

So I have been in Pleasantville for the past 3 days for an animation workshop at the Jacob Burns Film Center. Today was the last day, and we decide to swill a celebratory beer at the nearby pub before catching the train north. I slip into the men's room and to drain the main vein. I water the lily, wash my hands and return to bar. Upon sitting on the stool, I realize the front of my shorts is wet from the bathroom sink. Now it was bad enough that the soap dispenser shot Jergens like a pornstar and almost took my eye out but the faucet sprayed like a drunk Daffy Duck playing the little brother in Music Man. Of course no one looks at me, A GUY, leaving the bathroom with wet spots splattered all over his crotch like a Pollock painting, and thinks, "There must be a shitty sink in there." No. They think what my friend Scott did, which was "Dude, did you piss yourself?"